


Overdramatic gays and gaysettes

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24811342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Since Grantaire is so tardy all the time, Enjolras decides to punish him by doing personalised handshakes with every member of Les Amis in front of Grantaire as punishment.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Overdramatic gays and gaysettes

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, season 6 episode 13 ‘The Bimbo’
> 
> THIS IS NOT MY WORK. I have been given permission to post this.

It was no secret Grantaire didn’t care that much about the political meetings. If it weren’t for the tangents such as Marius’ love life, which captured the interest of too many, Grantaire most likely wouldn’t have attended for so long. In actuality Enjolras desired Grantaire’s presence as it provided him with realisation to the flaws of his plan. What Grantaire referred to as ‘taking the piss’ was, in reality, very valuable to the meetings. Unfortunately only one member of the pair was able to recognise this. Therefore when Grantaire was late, once again, Enjolras decided to execute a plan. A torturous plan.

By the time Grantaire arrived, Les Amis were sitting in there normal, assigned seats that they chose when they first arrived. Thus nothing was new. This then didn’t arouse any suspicion in Grantaire and he reacted the same as always. It was a pattern by now anyway. “Im sorry, I’m sorry,” He said as he rushed to his seat, “I know I’m late, but hey at least I’m here. What’d I miss?”  
“The entire meeting, Grantaire.” Enjolras made sure to pronounce every letter of the words he spoke to convey his serious tone.  
“Ah,” Grantaire happily shifted in his seat, “Perhaps now is the time you should accept and love me for who I am and that tardiness is in my nature?”  
“No,” Enjolras promptly answered, predicting that was going to be his response, “I will make you suffer, Grantaire.” He leant down to force his face close to Grantaire as he lowered his pitch in order to achieve seeming more intimidating than he was normally, “I have crafted an intricate, personalised handshakes with everyone here.”  
It was as if a black hole appeared in Grantaire’s brain until he broke out in a nervous laughter, “Impossible: you hate handshakes! You won’t touch anyone unless if you really had to.” He looked around at Les Amis, “Believe me, I know. It’s so hard to get Enjolras to—“  
“Grantaire,” Enjolras leaned back, suddenly becominga new man as he relaxed his posture and his tone of voice, “This is for your own good. I’m going to teach you a lesson on why you shouldn’t be late.”

Combeferre stood up as he sighed heavily. The first interpretation was that he would hate performing such act, but then a wide grin grew in his face as he marched over to Enjolras with confidence. They saluted to one another and slapped their hands together only to bring each other closer by pulling on their hands.  
Offended, Grantaire gasped, “The salute to a bro hug!”  
But they weren’t done. Combeferre pulled back and the two of them made sound effects with their voice as they shot each other with imaginary kid-friendly bullets.  
“Into a finger gun?!” Grantaire slapped his cheeks in horror.  
Enjolras’ eyes was completely focused on the victim throughout.

Next was Courfeyrac as he wriggled his hands like a fish. He slapped the back of his hand with Enjolras and high fived him right above with his other hand. He then brought their hands down to handshake in an ‘x’ shape.  
“No,” Grantaire whimpered, “That’s the snake charmer combo.”  
Still, Enjolras’ eyes hadn’t lifted from him, watching every trivial details of his reaction.

Jehan stood up and double fist bumped Enjolras and gave two quick slaps to his hand while tapping their chest.  
“No!” Grantaire tried to look away, “That’s the double fist bump with ‘Community’ fusion.”  
Enjolras smirked.

“Sorry buddy,” Feuilly said as he passed by him, on his way to Enjolras.  
“Are you, really?” Grantaire looked disgusted.  
“Nope! You deserve this!” Feuilly laughed as he butt-bumped his leader, then playfully rubbed their butts in the air like bees and did a normal handshake since their butt-bump was eccentric enough.  
At this point Grantaire was grunting in pain. It didn’t help that Enjolras’ eyes were boring into his soul.

Now it was Bahorel’s turn as he gave a quick spin around before giving a dramatic guitar solo which Enjolras mirrored which also translated smoothly into a suave handshake.  
“Oh,” It was as if an arrow had gone through Grantaire’s heart, “The air guitar strum! Make this stop.”

Joly stood up with Bossuet next to him (Lesgle wasn’t trusted to do the handshake alone in fear that he would trip over nothing before it even began). “I represent Bossuet as well as myself.” Joly professionally announced as he strode confidently towards Enjolras and a normal handshake which transformed into a thumb war, but before the winner could be decided, they turned it into an arm wrestle, then pulled each other into a quick hug. When Joly spun around, he lifted his eyebrows while biting his lip to intimidate Grantaire.

With sweat running down his forehead, Grantaire whispered, “At least it’s over now.”

“Goodbye, Cosette, our one-time visitor!” Enjolras bellowed, summoning the maiden who unravelled herself from the curtain in the background by spinning gracefully.  
She smiled innocently as she skipped her way to him and tapped her foot against his until she slapped her hands against his twice.  
“Cosette?” Grantaire moaned, “Come on!”

The worst was not over and Enjolras didn’t even blink. “Goodbye, Gavroche, the child prodigy of me!”  
A little boy popped out from below Grantaire’s table as he flapped his hands to mimic a butterfly’s wings until sliding his hands elegantly with Enjolras, then linking their pinkies together and said “Brothers forever”.  
“He speaks in the handshake?!” Grantaire complained.  
“Yes.” Enjolras tapped his watch, “And you could’ve had one too. Too bad you were late.”  
Grantaire drooped his head low, defeated.

As fun as this was, it was time to go home now as Enjolras told Les Amis not to hold distracting conversations tonight. However Bossuet couldn’t help but resist introducing his and Joly’s girlfriend. He excitedly opened the door to a beautiful woman with brown skin and glowing eyes, supposedly having waited silently outside before being let in.  
Immediately Enjolras called out, “What’s your name?”  
“Musichetta.” She shrugged.  
“Nice to meet you, Musichetta.” Enjolras marched over and high fived her as she walked towards him as well. As they passed each other, they moved their hands downwards to give out another high five below, acting harmoniously.  
“Really?! You don’t even know her!” Grantaire shouted, his face pink with frustration.

**Author's Note:**

> The original writer thought this wasn't comedic nor was it well-written. I was in contact with the writer and she has given permission to post this as long as I don't reveal who she is apart from a selected few. If you do know who she is please do not comment it. Thank you.


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